Today I have a sore stomach and neck because I coughed a lot yesterday. I lost 2 kg in fasting yesterday. Unbelievable! No wonder I feel dizzy. I ate ochazuke (Japanese rice in tea) last night. Today after dropping off Yukuri I bought a three- egg tofu and ate all. I wanted to eat more. Since my throat hurts and I have sticky phlegm, I feel better with something smooth going down my throat.
So let me explain about the bronchoscopy yesterday. There are three kinds of anesthesia.
1. Inhaling a mist of anesthesia from a machine
2. Injection into my arm muscle. That hurts a lot.
3. Then, sticking out my tongue while the doctor sprinkled anesthesia into my trachea.
Anesthesia #3 gave me nausea. The doctor said, “If you don’t do this now, it will be very painful later.” So I did it.
I was told that #2, the injection, would make me unconscious. So I thought I could take the test unconscious. It would better. But my hopes were dashed when I was moved to the examination table.
They sent me to the operating room like I have seen in TV dramas. And they covered my eyes with gauze to prevent anesthesia from getting in them. Then they put something on my finger to measure oxygen and a blood pressure cuff on my arm--just in case. Then they said “stick out your chin” and pulled my tongue. Then they put the big equipment through my throat.
"I------------------! Impossible, impossible, impossible! The impossible!!" This was the first time I wanted to give up.
But I couldn’t talk. "Doctor, -------------impossible," I thought, appealing by hand. The doctor said, "Now, it goes through thinnest part, please be patient."
From this point on, I wrote about already yesterday. Just hard and painful.
Childbirth is about enduring pain. Bronchoscope pain is… The body rejects it. But I can’t control my body. I just try to be patient, patient and patient with all pain. It was really torture. My body really needed to breathe fully. But I couldn’t do it.
If I have to take a bronchoscopy again, I want to have full anesthesia even I have to spend a lot. So I can sleep completely. If I was told, “Yesterday’s test was unsuccessful, so do it one more time,” I would break down and cry. I would be crazy. Something like that was hard.
My test was done by two doctors. The assistant doctor’s voice was just like Osamu Mukai (Japanese actor). It was a very good voice. But he seemed like a masochist. He said to other doctor, “Do you want to go up or down. Which way?” I thought he was talking about how to place the tubes. I wanted to say, “I don’t care up or down. Please finish asap.” And he said, “Take a rest for two minutes.” NO way. It was totally impossible.
After the test, I wanted to say him, “Your voice is good.” But while I was telling my doctor, “I thought I could die,” he disappeared.
On this day there were four or five people who came in for a bronchoscopic examination. After my test, I was in the bed for another hour since I was still under the effects of the anesthesia. In the next room a bald guy was waiting for the same test, taking the same anesthesia. I wanted to open the curtains, shake his hand and say, “Put up with it.” But I was not able to do this. So I said it in my mind.
After the test, in the bed next to me again, I heard him roaring and coughing through the curtain. I told him in my mind, “I know it was hard and so painful. I know. I know.”
Another old man seems to be followed. After all the explanation and the anesthesia, he was transferred to the operating room. The nurse picked up the phone in the next room. And she said in a hurry, “Is the anesthesia not effective? What? He is behaving crazy?”
Well, could I have behaved like that? I wanted to if he could. I really thought that. I tried to be really patient. I really wanted to be able to move my hands and legs on the bed since I could not talk. The only thing I could do was to indicate, “Impossible,” by shaking my hands. That’s all. Old man, I really know your feeling.
I was told I would get a lot of sputum after the test. But I didn’t get much. I brought a lot of tissue paper in case. There were tissues in the hospital. I did not need them.
This is the end of the report. Did you enjoy?
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