November 10, 2010 09:32 It’s been a while…
By the way, I visited to the clinic in Osaka to get an immune cell drip infusion, before I readmitted this time. I went to Osaka, because we couldn’t find a clinic in Fukuyama, in where immune cell drip infusion could be performed. Also, I wanted to see the clinic in Osaka since that was the first immunecytotherapy for me. So I went there, assisted by my mother and my friend who introduced me to the clinic. The first treatment went good, but it will take 3weeks to produce some effect. They recommend this treatment once a week between the anti-cancer drug treatments.
Last Thursday I was hospitalized again for the 3rd anti-cancer drug treatment, but I caught a cold and it was postponed until today. If I didn’t get sick, I could have one more immune cell drip infusion last week, but I guess this is how it goes. I should take it easy and do whatever I can at time.
I hope this time the anti-cancer drug will not give me severe side effect. I feel a little insecure because Masao-san is away in Tokyo. I will ask him to stay with me for the next treatment.
Today, I spoke with my doctor about anti-cancer drug treatment. Usually they perform 4 periods of anti-cancer drug treatments, but if it works well, they will continue up to 6 periods. I asked doctor what they would do after finishing all periods, he said “we have to see the condition and decide what we do next.” I hope my cancer is getting very small. Based on the size before the treatment and the effectiveness of the anti-cancer drugs on my cancer so far, I’m not sure if it is getting small enough to makes me feel secure.
According to the doctor, there has not been the clinical evidence of continuous anti-cancer drug treatments yet, and regarding the anti-cancer drug treatments, there are different opinions depending on doctors. I understand there is no definite answer because each patient has different cancer and it takes different effect.
Again, I realized that while I listen to my doctor’s advice, I have to trust myself and think over by myself and decide how my cancer is treated. Doctors may choose the way to treat, which has the most effective result in clinical trials, but patients do choose whatever has the best chance of survival. At least I do.
Ojiyan, who is the sponsor of the charity exhibition for me, told me that she would continue the charity for me so that I can continue the immunecytotherapy. I think for me to fight against the cancer is the least thing I can do to show my gratitude to people who care about me. I will try my best to handle today’s anti-cancer drug treatment!
I went home yesterday and saw my daughter, Yukuri. When I was about to leave, she cried for the first time. She cried and said “You can’t go! We sleep together”.
She knew I would go to the hospital to get better, and tried not to be demanding. She was looking down and saying very softly at first, but by the time when I was about to leave, she was crying loud. It was very hard for me too. When I see my parents cry, I feel like I have to be strong, but seeing my daughter crying is very hard. She will turn to be 4 years old pretty soon. She still needs a lot of affection from parents. She knows that once I go to the hospital, I won’t come home for a while.
I want three of us, parents and the child, to live together again very soon.
My daughter draw this picture and I hang on the wall in my room at the hospital.
Me(left), Yukuri(middle), Masao-san(right).
created by Maro at 9:32 AM