It's raining today in Fukuyama and when I woke up, it was really really cold.
So I quickly put on the Uniqlo Heattech pants that my sister-in-law gave me, the loose clothing that Ojiyan gave me, the waist warmer that Moja gave me, the nitted hat that sioux gave me; the complete toasty outfit, all of them gifts....feeling very loved, me.
It has been a week since the anti-cancer drug treatment. The sleepiness and drowsy feeling has gone away but the side effects and the bone marrow toxicity should lead to lower white blood cell count and if I get a cold during this period, it will lead to pneumonia and emphysema, so I really need to be careful
Tomorrow Masao-san will take my medical records to talk in detail to an immunocytotherapy doctor in Osaka whom my friend told me about. It'd be better if I can go but I still can't travel long distances....
By the way the hospital I'm at can't do the immunocytotherapy. There are hospitals which have started using immunocytotherapy but I guess it's still difficult. In Hiroshima city they can do the anti-cancer drug treatment along with the immunocytotherapy, but Hiroshima city is too far.
My city, Fukuyama city, located in Hiroshima prefecture is closer to Okayama prefecture, so Okayama city is closer for me.
Yesterday I found this book in the hospital library and borrowed it. Before the cancer spread, I was relying on the doctor, but now, you can't just rely on other people. I have to face the challenge myself to cure this disease. So I'm reading a lot of books and trying things that people say are good for me and felt that I needed to keep feeling positive all the time...used meditation repeatedly and after feeling so low for long, now I'm stronger, even a blackhole can't drag me in. The people around me helped along; of course, I couldn't do it just by myself. I relayed to my family the state of my disease and declared that I will never give up. Everyone cooperated with me. I couldn't thank them more. All the encouragement by mail and through the net helped me many times. I read them over and over still.
Like anti-cancer drugs, Immunocytotherapy doesn't work on everyone, but if there is even a remote chance to live, I want to try this treatment.
I didn't tell you all, but when I had the last diagnosis in Okayama, the cancer had spread to all of my right lung, several places in my brain (so bad that the cyberknife therapy is impossible), and spread larger in the liver, and had spread to the lymph and bone marrow. I don't know if they are lymph nodes, but there are lumps all over my body. The one at my waist grew larger and larger and became the size of a ping pong ball....it became smaller with the anti-cancer drugs, so it was probably cancer. Now that I think of it, the doctor would say to me to prepare for the ultimate, and I really did prepare to die.
It sounds really bad if I write like this, but now I feel much better, just don't have the physical strength.
The anti-cancer drug treatment I'm using now should finish with two more treatments. The cancer won't go away even after finishing all the treatments.
Immunocytotherapy is attracting attention as the fourth method of cancer treatment after the Big Three of surgery, anti-cancer medicine and radiation. You take a patient's blood, extract the cancer fighting cells such NK Cells and grow the cells and put them back into the body.
You're putting back your own blood, so there are no side effects. According to the books, many people, even people who were diagnosed as terminal cancer were cured.
I still have many things that I want to do, so I will keep up my spirits.
The deadline for the artists' application to the charity event was yesterday and wow! Over 100 artists, 105 in all! This is amazing. I think nobody, even my friends who planned this event didn't think that so many people would apply. I was a bit sorry for causing all trouble but now that so many people are rooting for me, I will keep my spirits up.
What makes me excited now is to imagine the smiling faces of my friends when I go back to Tokyo.