Two days have passed since I received the test results. At first, it seemed unreal, but now I am realizing that the diagnosis is true. I can't get away from it. I feel depressed by this unacceptable fact.Tears fall from my eyes. I can't stop crying.
After having more exams, it is even more serious than I thought. I am terrified. I might not be able to hold my daughter's hand on the way to kindergarten any more. The reality tortures me.
The radiation therapy on my brain will start tomorrow. Three tumors have been found in my brain by MRI yesterday. I will have to have MRIs regularly throughout my life to check metastasis.
Under the original plan, I was going to stay at Okayama University Hospital. But there is no cyber knife needed for my brain treatment. Now I will stay at another hospital that specializes in brain treatments.
After my brain treatment have finished, I will transfer to Okayama University Hospital to receive treatments for my lung. I haven't heard yet what type of treatment will be prescribed for my lung.
My condition now is getting better. My fever has stopped, but I am still coughing. I sometimes have pains in my head because of the tumors. I am on an IV to stop the pain and to prevent the tumors from swelling.
My husband takes good care of me. When he put his hands on my body where it hurts, the pain goes away. He also takes care of my pottery that hasn't been done. He is now all for me. My parents are also supportive.
The financial cost of treatment is excessive. It makes me feel sorry to think about the expense of the treatment plan. But I am still here and must stay alive.
My grandpa and grandma, I don't want to go where you are yet. At least until Yukuri turns 20. If I can have more years, I want to stay here until my husband and I see Yukuri in her wedding dress. I want to stay alive. Please don't take me there!
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