Masao-san is staying at my aunt's place which is about 10 minutes from the hospital by bus. He comes to see me at the hospital every day.
It's a 1 hour drive from here to my parents' house.
Yukuri is there having fun with my niece and nephew (my younger brother's kids) in her age who live there. Yesterday my sister-in-law sent me an e-mail that said Yukuri and her one year older cousin Yurie were chatting and romping around until the very last moment before they went to sleep last night. Yukuri must be really happy being with Yurie. Yukuri loves her.
This is the first time since Yukuri was born that my family live separately. This is the reality that no one could even imagine just a week ago. Everything has turned upside down. I have to live through this thinking there must be some meaning to all of this.
The third day in the hospital. The radioactive treatment in the morning killed the second tumor.
My cousin brother came by in the afternoon. I got a permission to go out and we went to a cafe with ocean view and had Yuzu gelato. It was so delicious.
Then we went to a temple called Yukayama which is known as a "Power Spot" in Okayama. My cousin, who has two children, got abruptly laid off after the company got sold, but he got a new job after he paid visit to this temple to pray. He said I'd be all right too after we go there and pray. He bought me a "sacrifice charm" there. I hope it works... Gasho (a ritual gesture formed by placing hands together in a prayer)
That night, around 8pm, I felt extreme pain in my chest and back. It was so unbearable that I called the nurse. The nurse gave me a pain killer and massaged my back but it still hurts no matter how I position my body. It hurts and I can't breathe. By the decision of the doctor on duty I was sent to the CT room right away. They had been focusing on the brain treatment in this hospital and they didn't seem to have enough knowledge of my lung conditions.
It turned out that the pain was coming from the lung. I was told that there is no other option but to just take the painkiller. If it's not working then I should take a stronger medicine, they told me.
The painkiller did actually start to work. I got better and I could even tell some jokes.
It feels like the pain becomes the worst in the night.
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